Would You Trade Your Writer’s Block?

August 6, 2014 by Roland Clarke

I promise that it was there… until I woke up. Didn’t you see it when you arrived? Maybe it departed on wings of… well take your pick, on Gossamer, feather, metal, wood or leather.

Time to be honest. I don’t suffer from writer’s block. Maybe I have an antigen in my makeup, or my muse works overtime. Whichever it is, I have too many ideas, therefore too many first drafts that need editing. I just need to find the one idea that fits the moment.

However, I admit with Multiple Sclerosis that I am always losing thoughts as I write. This post is a typical example as I lost my train of thought many times. Whether the thought ever came back, I don’t remember. Yes, it’s that bad.

As for my block it’s over editing, but more of that later.

Let’s continue with my primary antigens to Writer’s Block. Not all of them work all of the time, but at least one might yield something that I can use. Maybe even something that helps you.

DREAMS: We all dream, although we often forget most of them. I don’t always have inspiring dreams, but there are a few that offer something of worth. When I wake up, I either write the dream down or work through the idea that it inspires, for later use as either a scene, a short story, or a novel.

Photo of a cloud illuminated by sunlight. ~ by Ibrahim Iujaz from Rep. Of Maldives

PHOTOS: Although I used to take photographs as an equestrian journalist, it tends to be other people’s photos that yield the best inspiration. On Pinterest I have gradually collated images to inspire new ideas. See my Pinterest file here.

OUTDOORS: When I was more mobile, I found that getting out into natural surroundings would inspire me. That included observing people in the street or park. I once got the idea for a Haiku about a kite from a summer wander – or was it a Senyru? Nowadays I have to rely more on my immediate surroundings for inspiration – like “Black with Secrets, Adorned with Silver”, my Blog Post on Monday, which was inspired by dawn sounds that woke me up. One advantage is gazing at Snowdon every day.

GAMING: Okay playing online games – MMORPGs – is one of my ways to chill… a reward like chocolate, but gaming is a source of inspiration. I have two draft novels set against a gaming world, in fact a fictional gaming world based on my short story saga “Gossamer Flames”. I’m not sure what the inspiration for the first novella that became “Gossamer Flames” was, but gaming has built more of the world. Ironically, the novella –Weave of the Sister Skein – appeared while I was recovering from my first MS attack in 1999.

I’m sure that you can suggest other sources of inspiration, and you are welcome to add them in your comments.

So to My Block and Insecurity – Editing. I am churning out first drafts faster than I can edit them. My mind can no longer deal with focusing on finding the faults. Yes I can trudge through the manuscript – not MS, please, as I live with a MonSter already. Trawling word by word, I aim for perfection. I search for plot holes and character flaws. But I need months, even years. Time is not on my side.

Perhaps I need an editor partner. Maybe someone that can take my words then polish the idea into something worth reading. All offers considered.

Maybe that’s another Writing Unblock antigen. Anyone want to trade?

***

The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day, when we talk about our doubts and the fears we have conquered. We discuss our struggles and triumphs, perhaps offering a word of encouragement for others who are struggling.

This is my monthly IWSG post and there are many more words of wisdom out in cyber-space. I’m only a single blip among 290 other amazing bloggers rocking the neurotic writing world. If you click here there are links to all of them and you can visit as many as you want.

All thanks to Ninja Captain Alex J Cavanaugh and his awesome co-hosts Sarah Foster, Joylene Nowell Butler, Lily Eva, and Rhonda Albom!

I’m Fine… but the MS is not

July 2, 2014 by Roland Clarke

What should I say? Do I remain polite? Or complain?

But it’s good manners to say “Good morning” and ask how someone is, then remark on the weather. People don’t really want to know how I am, any more than they want to learn about my writing.

My wheelchair is invisible and all they see is the smile on my face… the smile that keeps me going, along with my writing. Depression, openly demonstrated, doesn’t sit well with MS, even if it lurks behind me most of the day.

I have real friends that understand, many writers that I met online, some even suffer with invisible illnesses and know the secret of hiding the pain. Yet there are days when the pain gets too much and I scream aloud, my body jerking with uncontrollable spasms. On those days both writing and thinking are jumbled. But I’m not the only sufferer that writes.

Writing is a healer and a distraction. Without writing my brain would have ground into a snail slither. Writing keeps my ‘little grey cells’ devising new ways to kill people, and new motivations for deviousness. Sadly, I can’t write down everything that flickers along the scrambled pathways.

So I’m Fine… on the outside, but I’m suffering inside, struggling to get the words out whether by voice or keyboard. The MS is taking time to emerge because the MS is making my life a daily struggle. But I will win, given enough time.

Yes, I flinch when I read MS. To me it is not a ManuScript, but a MonSter called Multiple Sclerosis.

And others live with their monsters and triumph.

This is my monthly post in the Insecure Writers Support Group Day and there are many words of wisdom out in cyber-space. I’m only number 180 among 297 other bloggers. If you click here there are links to all of them and you can visit as many as you want. All thanks to Ninja Captain Alex J Cavanaugh and his co-hosts Krista McLaughlin, Kim Van Sickler, Heather Gardner, and Hart Johnson!

News Worth Sharing

June 4, 2014 by Roland Clarke

For the first three of my monthly posts in the Insecure Writers Support Group I expressed my insecurities, concerns and general fears about my writing. Today I want to be positive as our monthly posts are also supposed to be offering encouragement. There are usually some excellent words of wisdom out there. I’m only number 207 among 320 other great bloggers. If you click here there are links to all of them and you can visit as many as you want. After months of prevarication, I have drafted my first newsletter and taken the first step on the MailChimp route – and I don’t regret it. This won’t be a MailChimp Guide since there are excellent ones available, like Jeri Walker-Bickett’s post “How to use MailChimp – From Sign-up To Send”. All I’m attempting to do today is to explain why I decided to go down the newsletter path and what I hope to find. Letter writing was not something that came easily to me, whether writing Thank You letters as a child, or staying in touch with friends as I grew older. However, during my career as an equestrian journalist I produced a 12-24 page quarterly newsletter for a carriage driving club. An interesting challenge as I had to master design software and PDF production. So no excuse when it comes to a simple one page newsletter in MailChimp.

Dick Lane and his team of Lipizzaners at Brighton Driving Trials

The design options are more basic than Publisher but I can see the potential to offer readers the following – in no particular order:

Links to recent Blog posts
Updates on published novels, like “Spiral of Hooves”
Research thoughts and Links relating to my Worlds & Work In Progress
Books read, reading and recommended
Interviews with authors I follow
News about my current writing projects
Other people’s Tweets, Blogs and thoughts that have inspired me

Most of these don’t make interesting blog posts and yet they can be very useful to followers, when phrased right. The Gossamer Wings Newsletter will allow me to keep in touch better with you… better than sporadic posts that give a snapshot of my life. I want to make this work and I believe that having a newsletter is part of the way forward, not just for me but also for other authors. What would you expect to see in my newsletter? Would you be interested in receiving a copy? How often would you want to be sent one?

It might take a week or two perfecting a newsletter that is worthy of being sent but, if you are interested, please sign up below. [I tried adding a Widget to the site but it seems that MailChimp and WordPress haven’t sorted out a compatible code.]

But I have now found the solution and you can sign up here: http://eepurl.com/V3mq5

Blogging a Dead Horse or an Ex-Parrot

May 7, 2014 by Roland Clarke

How do you keep blogging when you lack motivation and satisfaction? Do you ask yourself, why am I writing a blog? Who is out there waiting for the next captivating post?

Okay your blog will probably show how many people are following you and also how many times a page is viewed. I have 768 followers and I have got at the most 197 views – on one day in August 2013. But those followers include all those who follow my blog, plus my Facebook followers, those on Twitter and others. And the views include the times that I check my old posts when I’m not logged in. Do they include the times when I am logged in?

So it’s probably valuable information and stats – if you know how to read them correctly, and don’t get confused by false figures created by your own pingbacks. I don’t understand the minute detail and just get depressed looking at all the figures. They make we wonder if my blog is a dead horse or maybe an ex-parrot. [For those that understand, the answer is probably it’s “pining for the fjords” or simply “stunned”. Except it’s not Norwegian.]

I can see some pattern emerging as to which posts are viewed most – mainly the ones during the Indie Blog Party August 19-30 2013, plus a few posts referencing marketing strategies and my insecurities. My interviews with the characters of my first novel, Spiral of Hooves stirred some interest. But my posts during the Blogging from A to Z Challenge last month had a dozen views each, at most, with very few comments – some days none.

Does this mean that you want more insecure ramblings interspersed with the strategies of an unqualified novice? I’m not an expert on anything. My special subject is writing about other people after they have won some equestrian competition.

Maybe this blog needs to be put out to grass or stuffed – it would mean I’d have more time for writing fiction or gaming.

Comments might be a guide to the blog’s health, if I can ignore the pingbacks again – each time I reference an old post, it becomes a comment – great. So this post is minimal with just one reference to another of my posts. But are comments relevant? I’ve read great posts with none, entertaining posts with numerous ones, and obscure weird minimalist posts with dozens. Mine just average two or three. Is there a magic formula?

Reading other blogs, I see that a specific theme can work, like book reviews, author interviews, or observations on the world outside.

Over to you readers and followers. How do you want to see this Blog evolve? What do you enjoy reading? I explored the options initially in Two Futures: Facts or Fiction back on January 18, with no conclusive suggestions.

Is it a dead horse or an ex-parrot? [Other animals bereft of life perhaps]

Or do I need more interviews with characters, or other writers, even riders? [Badminton winner, if I can reach him/her after the weekend.]

Or rant more about my insecurities and health? [Doing a backflip in my wheelchair on the front ramp.]

Should I be more selective in what I say, research less and save my words? [Small is beautiful.]

What do you think?

This is my monthly post in the Insecure Writers Support Group day and I’m supposed to be offering encouragement. Maybe there will be some words of wisdom out there. I’m only number 207 among 320 other great bloggers. If you click here there are links to all of them and you can visit as many as you want.

Forty Days & Forty Nights without Internet

March 5, 2014 by Roland Clarke

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Could you survive without your internet connection for 40 days and 40 nights? What about your phone?

Okay, it’s not like living without food or water or shelter as too many people do in this unjust world. But for those of us that have been pampered by modern technology it’s a big ask. One that BT aka British Telecom seems to feel is reasonable, or do they mean excusable. My multiple sclerosis disability has little if no bearing.

As I type this, on Saturday February 22^nd, we will be sans broadband and sans phone from Friday February 28^th to Thursday April 10^th.

The outlook is bleak. The meaning stark and troubling. The portents are… okay I’m exaggerating but I’m still worried. Whinge warning.

Imagine no emails, or rather over 50 a day piling up in my AOL inbox = 200 plus by the time we get back online. Forget about sending out review copies of ‘Spiral of Hooves’ or promoting the novel. Surfing social media like Facebook and Twitter will be abandoned, as will any appearances in the cyber-world.

“Get a dongle”, I hear you shout in mass cacophony, and I know that you are right. With a dongle, and a signal, we can check our emails at least. If the charges are not too massive we can do a little more… others do from their iPods, Androids etcetera, from all kinds of locations, including Internet cafes. But going out to find the right place is not the same as working from our new office in our new home, where the desktops will be, with all the software. At least I don’t have to be online to create using Scrivener… just to back the work up on Dropbox or OneDrive.

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

In fact blog posts, either mine or anyone else’s are a non-starter. This one will have to be posted in advance, set for public consumption on Wednesday March 5^th as part of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. Whether anything will appear in April is a prediction that I cannot make… the crystal ball is dim. I’m meant to be taking part in the 2014 A to Z Challenge in April, but it could be hard.

If I find time in the midst of packing, I might attempt to write the first ten posts – A to J – and schedule them to appear on time. At least I know the theme – the World of Gossamer Steel.

With that reference I know that my alter-egos will suffer too. No gaming for 40 nights is almost worse than no surfing. How will I live if my avatar is unable to stop monsters pouring through Rifts or perverting Good in Middle Earth? The Sith Empire will conquer the galaxy in my absence and Conan will be deposed.

Oh wait, they’re not real and there are others to continue the struggle.

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

But ordering groceries and other goods is essential. There are local shops crying out for our custom, but being disabled there are advantages in having things delivered. Maybe we can do that by dongle as well. Reminds me, have I downloaded enough books onto my Kindle?

I envisage a problem occurring when we begin ordering from a dongle – the security guys at our bank will query the purchase in their diligent way. I’m pretty sure that online banking will be tough, although not impossible. But sending money to my wife’s kids in the US will be very hard, The only consolation is that my accounts package is offline.

As a writer I have some worries but know that I can continue to scribble without the internet. In fact removing it might lead to more productive days, as well as more days exploring the real world and making useful observations. Time to bring out the parchment and quill notebook and pen. So my scribbling life will be okay, if I ignore my other insecurities…

However, for my wife there is a more real problem. All her family are in the States and staying in touch with the USA by mobile/cell phone will be extremely difficult. Her mother is elderly and poorly. She keeps falling down and she would be unable to ring. It will be very expensive phoning the States on a cell phone, even with an international service.

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Ultimately life with only a cell phone becomes a major problem in an emergency. We can call for help, if there is a signal. Being disabled I feel vulnerable, but that doesn’t seem to make any difference to British Telecom; any more than it does to the British government who sees us as a drain on the system, along with other scroungers.

Whinge over. Our situation is not dire. In retrospect there are others with far greater issues. Ours are just frustrating and grrrr.

Wife says we’ll live off the land and be sending smoke signals. Maybe the pigeon can come out of retirement along with the pony. The positives outweigh the negatives. New home, bespoke design to meet our needs, fabulous location, wonderful neighbourhood. I can feel another post coming, once we have explored the immediate area and have some great pictures. Just need to find a means to post it. But here’s a taster:

22 Pant Mawr Park, Harlech, Wales

If all goes to plan, this will be my third posting of 2014 for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. This is when we release our fears to the world – or offer encouragement to those who are feeling neurotic. If you’d like to join us, click on the logo and sign up. We post the first Wednesday of every month. Visit at least a dozen new blogs and leave a comment. Your words might be the encouragement someone needs.

The awesome co-hosts today are MJ Joachim, Elsie, Elizabeth Seckman, and Julie Flanders! Many thanks to all you co-hosts for your time and effort towards making all IWSG members feel welcome.

Eight Headless Chickens

January 8, 2014 by Roland Clarke

It was a good end to 2013 with my first book published and the first draft of the sequel written, but January has been eight chaotic days, running around like the headless cliché… sorry, I mean chicken.

As I said in my non-resolution, Baiting the Bull, I had simplified my plans for 2014, aiming for just a small step each day. In a way that worked, but my mind still wants to veer off down different tracks.

Is that because it knows that I am playing mind games? I can’t hide the potential workload from myself, not when it mocks me each day. I sit at the computer and know what is going on, however hard I try to shut the demands off.

There are at least eight demanding chickens that I cannot hide from.

Cover credit: Danielle Sands

Spiral of Hooves: the novel won’t sell itself so I need to promote it, without spamming the world.
Wyrm Bait: the second novel I wrote, which has been professionally edited. But I’m finding it hard to tackle a rewrite.
Gossamer Steel: a collection of short stories that links to Wyrm Bait. Where my passion is at the moment. Also have a linked novella, The Last Leaf, my 2011 NaNoWriMo win that needs editing.
Challenges: 100 k in 100 days and My 500 Words. These give me the daily challenge to write – as in 3 – but not to edit. Will suffer when 7 takes over.
Reading Blogs and other Social Media: finding enough time to give these justice is nigh impossible, and yet I need to connect with other people out there. That includes all the amazing IWSG folk.
Reading novels on Kindle &/or paper: a writer needs to read, if only for pleasure. But sadly, as a slow reader, I have difficulty reading on a Kindle but that’s how I buy my books. Quicker reader the old fashioned, un-ecological way.
Packing for our move to Wales next month: in less than eight weeks we are moving to Harlech. Boxes are taking over our lives, and the other details must be sorted. Writing will get harder.
Gaming: something had to suffer and this is it. Some would say good riddance to this waste of valuable time. But it is crucial escapism, especially when you are trapped by a wheelchair. It is also the inspiration behind 2 & 3.

I need to focus myself back on the basic steps forward, and stop letting the headless syndrome affect me. I just need to identify the priorities. Without a head, this chicken can’t cross the road and get to the other side.

What do you think, dear reader? What’s the best way to cross the road?

***

This is my first posting of 2014 for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group This is when we release our fears to the world – or offer encouragement to those who are feeling neurotic. If you’d like to join us, click on the tab above and sign up. We post the first Wednesday of every month. Visit at least a dozen new blogs and leave a comment. Your words might be the encouragement someone needs.

The awesome co-hosts today are Bob Milne, River Fairchild, Julie Dao, and Sarah Foster! Many thanks to you all for your time and effort towards making all IWSG members feel welcome.