I’m Fine… but the MS is not

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What should I say? Do I remain polite? Or complain?

But it’s good manners to say “Good morning” and ask how someone is, then remark on the weather. People don’t really want to know how I am, any more than they want to learn about my writing.

My wheelchair is invisible and all they see is the smile on my face… the smile that keeps me going, along with my writing. Depression, openly demonstrated, doesn’t sit well with MS, even if it lurks behind me most of the day.

I have real friends that understand, many writers that I met online, some even suffer with invisible illnesses and know the secret of hiding the pain. Yet there are days when the pain gets too much and I scream aloud, my body jerking with uncontrollable spasms. On those days both writing and thinking are jumbled. But I’m not the only sufferer that writes.

Writing is a healer and a distraction. Without writing my brain would have ground into a snail slither. Writing keeps my ‘little grey cells’ devising new ways to kill people, and new motivations for deviousness. Sadly, I can’t write down everything that flickers along the scrambled pathways.

So I’m Fine… on the outside, but I’m suffering inside, struggling to get the words out whether by voice or keyboard. The MS is taking time to emerge because the MS is making my life a daily struggle. But I will win, given enough time.

Yes, I flinch when I read MS. To me it is not a ManuScript, but a MonSter called Multiple Sclerosis.

And others live with their monsters and triumph.

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This is my monthly post in the Insecure Writers Support Group Day and there are many words of wisdom out in cyber-space. I’m only number 180 among 297 other bloggers. If you click here there are links to all of them and you can visit as many as you want. All thanks to Ninja Captain Alex J Cavanaugh and his co-hosts Krista McLaughlin, Kim Van Sickler, Heather Gardner, and Hart Johnson!

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