Frustration

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What’s making me frustrated?


In chronological order, in yesterday’s timeline (October 3, 2026):
• DOGS.
• BEDBOUND.
• WIFE.
• WRITING.
• KEYBOARD.
• HOME.
Maybe somewhere down the line, I’ll add politics.

Taika by Juanita


Let’s start with Saturday’s trigger. Our two male DOGS, both neutered, have been pissing in the bedroom and the corridor, mainly on anything they can lift their legs against. This creates an enormous amount of work for Juanita’s son, Jason, and his wife, Kaylee. This has been a problem ever since we moved in with them 3 months ago.

Treeky by Juanita

The next cause of my frustration is being BEDBOUND and unable to do anything around the house. When we were in our first house in the U.S., I was relatively mobile. However, when we moved, the situation confined me to a bed, and I then fractured my right femur. Having gone from an active life to being stuck in bed, I sometimes feel totally useless. What am I contributing to anything other than being a drain on resources and time, which might never have happened if I had remained in the UK, but that’s the ocean under the liner?

Maybe if we were still in the UK, I’d be able to help my WIFE more. She is not frustrating, but she gets frustrated with her situation, over her health, money, her computer, sometimes me, especially random answers like this one. I can do very little, if anything, to help, so that frustrates me. Frustration becomes a vicious circle.
In theory, I should have at least two or three things to distract me.

Being with my loving wife, gaming, and WRITING. Yes, on a good day, writing helps me feel better, especially when I accomplish something, such as finishing or revising another chapter. But with so many unfinished stories and novels, only one published book and one story in an anthology, I’m running out of time.

I thought I finished a novel in 2025, but that proved to be a non-starter. So far, I have had one good, encouraging piece of feedback… from my writing software. But that’s AI. Does it have a valid opinion? Then there’s the novel revision I gave up on a few months back, knowing it needed something like another murder. I need to revise the last few chapters of my alternative history, but I’m frightened where it’s leading. Is this another dead end? Am I wasting my limited time?

The Norwegian Viking ship Draken Harald Harfrage sailing off Greenland – http://www.drakenexpeditionamerica.com


Another writing problem is a messed-up KEYBOARD. It either misses characters completely or writes multiple versions of the intended letter. The only solution seems to be dictation, but then that makes a lot of errors and encourages me to ramble. Forget technical solutions. They haven’t resolved the problem.

Finally, we get to HOME, sweet home. The house we are living in with my wife’s son, his wife, and their daughter has worked out great, and they do everything to look after us. But my green card expired, and even after 10 years, the authorities have not provided me with any medical assistance. That contrasts with universal healthcare in the UK. My British assets have all gone. Now it is my brother who is selling possessions to cover my medical needs.

Almost every day I miss the UK, and there are moments where I hate being in the U.S.A. – but not most Americans. That comes down to politics, but then the cause of those problems has become global. Even the UK is feeling the fallout. Yet there are moments when my wife and I still feel our hearts are in North Wales.

Now that I have spelt out my frustrations, maybe I’m calmer, but revision might be the next step.

Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Sant

I nearly forgot to post about St David’s Day being celebrated today, since it is also Juanita’s birthday. We’ve had some of my wife’s family around, so I’m posting a link to a previous post:

Nadolig Llawen

Slate Heart – http://www.welshgiftshop.com


Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda i chi i gyd!

This means ‘Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all‘ in Welsh, as my heart is still there even though I’m an Anglo-Chilean now living in the USA…. seven hours behind Wales or anywhere in the UK.

I should have posted this some days ago, but I’ve been worrying about my wife, Juanita, who was in the hospital from Saturday until last night. But she’s home for Christmas, much to my relief and the dogs’ excitement.

Some of you might remember that Welsh greeting and also this Ukrainian seasonal message from my 2024 Christmas post.

Вітаю вас з Новим роком і Різдвом!

This means ‘Congratulations to you on New Year and Christmas!’

If you wish to see more graphics and learn more festive Ukrainian phrases, visit: https://www.ukrainianlessons.com/merry-christmas-in-ukrainian/

Quetzal Tribute

Our beautiful Cavachon fur-baby Quetzal was born on February 13th, 2014, in Garndolbenmaen, North Wales, U.K.

I had already seen photographs of her parents and some siblings but knew my choice. So, when Juanita brought her out to show me, it was ‘love at first cuddle’.

Although the breeder’s son called her ‘Curly Sue’, we chose the name Quetzal after a game which Juanita was playing ‘Quetzal Quest’ about the search for a jewel likeness of the exotic Quetzal bird, whose feathers were prized by the Central American natives.

Likewise, we prized our gorgeous fur-baby, who has left us with a wealth of memories, from dashing around in the rain, to trying to catch squirrels. When she was a puppy, she liked to climb via my lap, onto my desk between the keyboard and my monitor. However, one of our cats loved this spot as well, so, every day became a race for this prime location. Fortunately, my lap was almost as good… and came with a stroking bonus.

Over time, Quetzal outgrew the desk. Plus, she had a new privilege: walking in the forest at the mountain biking centre, where she was treated to a venison burger – yes, dogs were allowed in the cafeteria.

Her other sport was chasing tennis balls… inside… and destroying them. By now, we had our second dog, Treeky. We also replaced tennis balls with rubber ‘kongs’ that fooled both dogs by bouncing erratically.

When we moved to America, Quetzal & Treeky travelled in style on the liner Queen Mary II, with two Kennel Masters for all the dogs, and a Poop Deck for walks with a UK lamppost and US fire hydrant.

Sadly, as my health declined and I became bed-bound, I could no longer walk Quetzal. She could though, use steps to climb onto my bed and snuggle.  Most nights she slept cuddled on or beside me.

I won’t forget her squeezing herself between me and my bed-desk to reach me and curl up. Every time I was trying to eat, she would bob and weave behind the desk to get tidbits, or a hopeful face would appear from under the desk.

Last photo of Quetzal sharing love and attention

An adorable face I will never forget, to infinity and beyond.

TO BE CONTINUED – QUETZAL GOES CAMPING

QUETZAL 2014-JUNE 17th 2023 R.I.P.

It is with a heavy heart and great sadness that we have to tell you that our sweet fur baby Quetzal went over the rainbow bridge at around 7:00 pm tonight. She just laid down and was gone. Juanita found her and it has hit us both so hard.

RIP Quetzal we will never forget how gentle and sweet you were.
Feb 13 2014 – June 17 2023.

— in Boise, ID.

My tribute follows when my thoughts aren’t jangled by the loss of my most precious fur-baby.

TRIBUTE: https://rolandclarke.com/2023/06/25/quetzal-tribute/

#IWSG – Shire Dreams

My apologies for this ‘late show’ on the monthly Insecure Writer’s Support Group post.

Our move has proved a nightmare with no disabled features to the house like wide doors or wheelchair ramp, a low toilet I have to be transferred onto by a trained carer, plus weeks without internet. My desktop is still in storage as no office imminent, so I’m writing this one-fingered on a laptop barely in reach.

And the new wheelchair keeps dying on me at inconvenient moments.

The flash-drive with my current novel went AWOL during the move, and other backups are proving elusive.

My health is suffering and paying for carers will cripple us… unless my brother acts out of character.

However, I must reassure the Ninja Captain, Alex J. Cavanaugh that this announcement is not ‘ffarwel’.

Anyway IWSG. Remember, the question is optional!

July 6 question – If you could live in any book world, which one would you choose?

A few come to mind from Narnia to Earthsea to a galaxy far, far away. But as Tolkien is my early writing inspiration, I choose Middle Earth… well, a safer region, The Shire.

Is that my yearning for rural England on which The Shire was modelled? Home?

Except my heart is in North Wales, where my Sparkle stories are set. Can I live there, please?

+++

Finally, don’t forget to visit more active writers via the IWSG site:

Insecure Writer’s Support Group


Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!


Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG.

The awesome co-hosts for the July 6 posting of the IWSG are J Lenni Dorner, Janet Alcorn, PJ Colando, Jenni Enzor, and Diane Burton!