Category Archives: Multiple Sclerosis

Wisholute or Chaos?

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This is my first post of 2015 and my first Insecure Writer’s Support Group post of the year. Before I tackle the resolution chestnut, I have to introduce myself. Guess I need to update my About Me page… at some point.

Until the MonSter called multiple sclerosis swiped me down, I was a freelance equestrian journalist, and photographer. I was diagnosed with MS in January 2000 and by 2005 I retired, unable to meet any deadlines. My second wife, Juanita is now my understanding and put-upon carer, and we live in Harlech, North Wales, with a brilliant view of Snowdon.

When the MS is behaving, and my pain is calm, I write fiction. My first novel, ‘Spiral of Hooves’ was published in December 2013, and I have various projects on the go.

First Snow on Snowdon ~ Juanita Clarke

First Snow on Snowdon ~ Juanita Clarke

So why ‘wisholute’?

My writer friend Ailsa Abraham coined this clever word as an alternative to ‘resolution’. Don’t we all manage to fulfil just a fraction of our resolutions? In many cases, they are closer to ‘wishes’ driven by intent of some sort. Great for Insecure writers like me. So I don’t make them – well not often.

My simple ‘wisholute’ was “Find a Brit publisher and finish one tale…” by which I meant, my US publisher is great for my equestrian series, but being in the UK I would like to find a similar Brit publisher. And my insecurity kicks in when it comes to my next publishing step.

Do I chance that my ‘Gossamer Flames’ saga is worthy of beta readers? Are there any out there that will want to read it?

Should I focus instead on revising ‘Fates Maelstrom’ and re-locating it in North Wales?

Do I suppress the urge to write yet another first draft to put in the bottom oven to simmer?

Well, I’m taking part in the 100k in 100 days Challenge and have a loose strategy of edit-create-revise: on the days when I need to Blog/vent/rant etc I do; on the days when I get inspired to review one of the books I managed to read in 2014, I do; when I get the urge to bring new characters alive in ‘Seeking A Knife’, I do; and I intend to make those short stories ready for the brave beta readers out there, wherever.

And for my reading I am multi-tasking too – I have three books on the go, and just acquired one set locally, to get my head ready for that revision I mentioned.

Trouble is, that insecurity might be feeding the multi-tasking. Should that be chaos? Not if we are creating words and worlds for valued readers. As IWSG says, “Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!”

Dewy Cobweb ~ by Norman Hyett

Dewy Cobweb ~ by Norman Hyett

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The awesome co-hosts for the January 7 posting of the IWSG will be Elizabeth Seckman, Lisa Buie-Collard, Chrys Fey, and Michelle Wallace!

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Please visit others in the group and connect with the awesome writers out there. Our Twitter hashtag is #IWSG

 

Why Ignore the Symptoms?

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Ignorance is bliss, supposedly, but that is not the answer. Nor is this a post about Writing. Health is today’s imperative – your health.

This is my contribution to the Survive and Thrive Bloghop! This blogfest, hosted by Stephen Tremp, Michael Di Gesu, L Diane Wolfe, and Alex J Cavanaugh, is “meant to bring awareness of disease prevention and early detection regarding medical conditions that may be averted or treated if caught in the early stages. Our desire is to motivate people to go in for early screening, and if a condition is caught early and treated, then our world just became a little better place to live.”

So why ignore your symptoms, because you are coping? They might go away – or they might get worse. I suspect that the doctor would prefer an early diagnosis than the complications of extended treatment.

Minor-seeming ailments could be the symptom of something worse. My earliest Multiple Sclerosis symptoms were subtle and could have been ignored. I went to my doctor and he diagnosed Repetitive Strain Injury, but, when the symptoms flared up again, I was sent for more extensive tests. These tests led, within three months, to the diagnosis that I had MS. I could have ignored the problems, continued driving – with extreme difficulty – and the consequences could have been far worse than early retirement, a wheelchair and a rebellious body.

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I’m not suggesting that doctors will always get their diagnosis right. There have been some tragic cases of medical incompetence. I might have gained a daughter when I got re-married, but within four months of her birthday in December 2010, she had died of stage four stomach cancer. A tragedy as she was a wonderful person, but the doctor told her that the stomach cramps were just acid reflux.

That suggests that if the problem persists, you should seek a second, third, fourth opinion. Don’t ignore the symptoms because the first doctor says you have a mild cold.

Maybe there is great value in the Chinese philosophy that prevention is the best cure. Traditionally, Chinese doctors had failed when a patient fell ill. But that’s another post. Just eat healthy until then.

 

Chicken Soup ~ Image courtesy of tiramisustudio at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Chicken Soup ~ Image courtesy of tiramisustudio at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

PLEASE VISIT OTHER BLOGFEST PARTICIPANTS

 

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Staying on Track

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Dewy Cobweb ~ by Norman Hyett

Dewy Cobweb ~ by Norman Hyett

Two weeks into September and I am on track with the Multiple Sclerosis September Challenge. Thus far, I have met my target to write a short story a week.

The aim was to focus this month on writing (and editing) four tales in my “Gossamer Flames” saga, so I have been working through them chronologically. The first two were written before the month started, along with Nos. 4 and 8. Another four will complete the first Book of the Saga – Dust & Death.

Two down and two to go. Halfway and the challenge looks feasible. Donations are very much welcome – all in a very good cause.

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I am trying to vary my style a little, especially in terms of POV.  I have been attempting to write ‘deep/tight POV’ and it has been a real test. I am also having to edit as I go, or at least by working through each day’s writing before continuing, then doing some final edits before each week is out. Fighting the trials of the MS has added to the challenge, but I am winning.

However, I am aware that these edits may not be enough. I need volunteers as beta readers – to see if the tales work and make sense, whether the POV rings true, if my grammar sucks, etcetera. Volunteers please contact me. The beta readers for my opening tale found enough to warrant a revision, or two.

If you sign up for my newsletter, you will receive the final version before anyone else sees the ‘Book’. Beyond that day, I will release “Dust & Death – Book I of Gossamer Flames” as a collection.

Looking ahead to October, I know that I have to put some time aside to do my tax return – not that I make a fortune. Then I need to devote some time to the re-location of “Fates Maelstrom” from Dartmoor to Snowdonia.

For now it’s back to killing some vermin in Scotland – just don’t ask me what they are voting… it won’t matter when the Solar Apocalypse comes.

 

Is the Challenge over?

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When I woke this morning – Tuesday September 2nd – my body refused to co-operate. I was ready to give up all my writing challenges and escape. Does that make any sense?

Maybe it doesn’t if you read my last post on here… my last Insecure Writer’s Support Group post, when I wrote about the inspiration that keeps me going. However, it’s the first Wednesday of the month again and I have the doubts and the fears that we are meant to have conquered. Seems I am back to the struggle stage.

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Writing over the last month had been more about escaping into research… and into other worlds = MMORPGs – gaming. I had great plans for September: write at least one complete story in the Gossamer Flames series every week of the month. Not a lot in comparison with the 100k in 100 days Challenge that I’m failing at miserably and as usual. But this should be so much easier as it’s over a shorter period – just a month. It’s also less intensive than the A to Z Challenge, although that inspired many of the shorts in Gossamer Flames.

Creating a story a week is one bit of pressure that I have set for myself as part of the MS Challenge that runs in September – my Support Page is at https://www.justgiving.com/ChallengeMS2761/ . And two days in I was thinking of giving up, even if it is a central part of my Life Challenge… fighting the MonSter that wants my Life but mustn’t win.

If I have written four complete tales, and edited them, by the end of the month then I will have reached one goal – although some sponsorship would be a bonus.

And thanks to a comment, I’m re-inspired. The words made me visit a fascinating blogsite, where I read a wonderful article on Spirals http://jazzfeathersjewellery.wordpress.com/2014/03/08/spirals/. Following the trail to its creative conclusion, I bought my long-suffering wife a well-deserved present.

Steampunk Heart from JazzFeathers

Steampunk Heart from JazzFeathers

In case you hadn’t realised, this is my monthly post in IWSG and the awesome co-hosts for the September 3 posting of the IWSG will be Laura at My Baffling Brain, mark Koopmans, Shah Wharton, and Sheena-Kay Graham. And it’s IWSG’s three year anniversary of posting!

Oh you were expecting something else. Were you thinking I meant the Ice Bucket Challenge when I said Challenge in the title?

Yes that has dominated the media and is a worthy cause for ALS alias motor neurone disease, another neurological nightmare. Ice Water is also meant to be good for MS, except something cold like water sends me into spasms. If challenged I would sign the cheque and be inspired by Patrick Stewart’s Ice Bucket Challenge, jst as the Huffington Post were http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/22/patrick-stewart-ice-bucket-challenge-video_n_5701036.html.

There is also a link on the Huffington Post report to Benedict Cumberbatch who showed another way to NOT evade the Ice Bucket Challenge. How to douse a dragon?

 

I’m Fine… but the MS is not

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What should I say? Do I remain polite? Or complain?

But it’s good manners to say “Good morning” and ask how someone is, then remark on the weather. People don’t really want to know how I am, any more than they want to learn about my writing.

My wheelchair is invisible and all they see is the smile on my face… the smile that keeps me going, along with my writing. Depression, openly demonstrated, doesn’t sit well with MS, even if it lurks behind me most of the day.

I have real friends that understand, many writers that I met online, some even suffer with invisible illnesses and know the secret of hiding the pain. Yet there are days when the pain gets too much and I scream aloud, my body jerking with uncontrollable spasms. On those days both writing and thinking are jumbled. But I’m not the only sufferer that writes.

Writing is a healer and a distraction. Without writing my brain would have ground into a snail slither. Writing keeps my ‘little grey cells’ devising new ways to kill people, and new motivations for deviousness. Sadly, I can’t write down everything that flickers along the scrambled pathways.

So I’m Fine… on the outside, but I’m suffering inside, struggling to get the words out whether by voice or keyboard. The MS is taking time to emerge because the MS is making my life a daily struggle. But I will win, given enough time.

Yes, I flinch when I read MS. To me it is not a ManuScript, but a MonSter called Multiple Sclerosis.

And others live with their monsters and triumph.

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This is my monthly post in the Insecure Writers Support Group Day and there are many words of wisdom out in cyber-space. I’m only number 180 among 297 other bloggers. If you click here there are links to all of them and you can visit as many as you want. All thanks to Ninja Captain Alex J Cavanaugh and his co-hosts Krista McLaughlin, Kim Van Sickler, Heather Gardner, and Hart Johnson!

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Who Is Roland Clarke?

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INDIE BLOG PARTY Post 1: Introducing Myself

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For this first post in the Indie Block Party, I will try to introduce myself to those readers joining this Grand Tour.

Although I started writing stories when I was a kid and tried to get short stories published in my late teens-early twenties, I have to be honest and say that I never saw myself as any sort of writer until I was much older.

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I flirted with journalism in my early twenties but drifted into equestrian photography, then fruit & veg selling, then the TV & film industry. So I was forty when I returned to journalism and my equestrian articles got regularly published in various magazines. When after ten amazing years I had to retire due to ill health, multiple sclerosis, I turned my remaining energy to finishing my first novel, an equestrian mystery called ‘Spiral of Hooves’ – first in the Chasseur series.

Horses have remained a theme, especially as I have just outlined Book 2 in the Chasseur series, ‘Tortuous Terrain’. In other WIPs there are horses but in secondary or minor roles. There’s even one who can fold time & space…

All my current writing tends to be mysteries but in some cases with a touch of fantasy or supernatural. My reading covers crime and fantasy as does my TV and film viewing. Not surprising then that I try to combine them.

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My spare time is spent playing Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games – from Lord of the Rings Online to current favourite Age of Conan Unchained.

My blog ‘Writing Wings’ is somewhat erratic, appearing when MS doesn’t bog me down with pain and exhaustion. I have to be inspired to write or I get very depressed with what I produce. The blogs aim is to track my experiences as a struggling fledgling writer. Hopefully there are a few gems in the blogs although I don’t profess to be an authority – those can be found on the Links page.

For other facts and dreams see About Me where there are links to Interviews by other writers.

 

For other Indie Block blogs visit: http://felwetzig.com/indie-block-party/