Hunger – a review

July 13, 2016 by Roland Clarke

I don’t normally read books for teens, but the blurb for “Hunger” and a review made me buy this excellent as part of Pub Hub’s Buy Diverse Books offer in June. The mix of apocalypse and eating disorder had me hooked, and could prove useful – my character Twyla Locke, in “Fates Maelstrom”, has an illness that could be an eating disorder, or not.

Hunger_7247856

Hunger (Riders of the Apocalypse #1)

by Jackie Morse Kessler

“Thou art the Black Rider. Go thee out unto the world.”

Lisabeth Lewis has a black steed, a set of scales, and a new job: she’s been appointed Famine. How will an anorexic seventeen-year-old girl from the suburbs fare as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

Traveling the world on her steed gives Lisa freedom from her troubles at home: her constant battle with hunger, and her struggle to hide it from the people who care about her. But being Famine forces her to go places where hunger is a painful part of everyday life, and to face the horrifying effects of her phenomenal power. Can Lisa find a way to harness that power — and the courage to battle her own inner demons?

“Hunger” not only satisfied me as a reader, but also tackled the issue of eating disorders in a clever yet informative way. This was much more than a fantasy read, and yet it was never preachy. Although I have known people that were anorexic, this took me into the mind-set of a girl battling with a too-common teenage problem, with an added touch of allegory that worked brilliantly.

From the opening moments when Lisa had to deal with her appropriate appointment as Famine, her thought processes were confused as she tried to absorb the new role into her troubled social life. The tense family situation and her fragile friendships seemed realistic, with her struggles over food ever present and understandable, given the pressures to fit the norm.

But the illness of anorexia nervosa is part of Lisa’s personality and life, never a tedious lecture from the author. Jackie Morse Kessler has experienced eating disorders first hand, so that authenticity blends well with the unfolding tale. The ‘Thin Voice’ that drives Lisa’s insecurity becomes not just Lisa’s alter-ego but also a central antagonist.

The writing is a strong mix of teenage distractions, psychological tribulations and fantastical challenges. Some readers might wonder why Lisa’s actions as Famine, especially her final decision, are somewhat illogical at times. She’s supposed to be Famine, so why is she doing that…? Because this is her take on Famine, perhaps.

Throughout the novel, my mind kept flipping between ‘this is a real fantasy’ and ‘this is in her confused mind’. How much is the calling to be one of the Four Horseman in her head? Perhaps that is why Death appears in the form of Kurt Cobain and plays Nirvana numbers on his guitar – that’s her take on Death.

After this engrossing opening novel, I’m intrigued to read the second Riders of the Apocalypse book, “Rage”, to see how Jackie Morse Kessler handles the next appointee and her self-mutilation.

SPOILER WARNING: It’s only when Lisa faces her greatest nemesis, a fellow Horseman, that she can finally confront the ‘Thin voice’ and her illness. Maybe that is what Lisa gain from her appointment as Famine.

Erratic Schedule

June 21, 2016 by Roland Clarke

This post is an apology for my failings in the weeks and months ahead.

You’ve been warned.

I’ve even got some sneaky excuses that might even be genuine.

First, I have to warn you that my posts will appear erratically. I will attempt some kind of weekly post, but no wild promises lile, “I will post something every Tuesday”. Attempt can mean that nothing will appear.

There will be a few guest posts, like this Friday’s post from Kristina Stanley, whose novel “Blaze” I reviewed recently. Her latest book, “Avalanche”, is released on Saturday.

And there will be the intermittent book reviews, like the one that I should write for my current read, the “Dying for a Living” Box set, by Kory M. Shrum. It feels like a slower read than normal as the set has three books, and I know that there are two more out there. Will I get that far?

Finally, I will try to write my monthly IWSG posts, although that may be a fail come October. That’s because of September 20^th.

For those that don’t know, that is the date when we embark on the QM2 and head for the USA, and the next stage in our life-adventure. Yes, we are selling our home in Harlech, North Wales, and by the end of September should be in our new home in Boise, Idaho. There we will have my wife’s family to support us. Bliss.

Although the IWSG post for October is on Wednesday 5^th, our computers will still be in a container between Wales and Idaho. In fact, our possessions may not arrive until sometime in November. Okay, we have a small HP Stream notebook for travel, but I’m still adapting to it.

The HP Stream will get its second outing next week, when we head to London for my interview with US Immigration on Wednesday June 29^th. Checking emails is probably the most that I will achieve, but don’t expect any comments on your blogs or here.

In fact, with all the preparations prior to the move, I’m already commenting less, visiting fewer blogs, even writing less. That is likely to become the norm as time sails on. Cruising on the QM2 will be a kind of luxury, but connecting with the cyber-world will be off the menu. Just seven days pampering ourselves perhaps. As for the dogs, they travel first class, with their own cabin/kennel, steward, bedtime biscuits, poop deck, designer jackets, and more.

Not looking forward to the road trip though. Getting from New York to Boise will be a challenge for all of us. At least, Juanita’s son Jason will be driving across to collect us.

Anyway, by October – maybe November – there will be a large backlog to catch up. Or should that be a Backblog?

I’ve deliberately evaded any reference to aggravating health issues, but they seem to be growing. The niggling bladder, the stabbing spasms, rebellious limbs, the depression, the exhaustion, and the frustration never go away. Sometimes I can escape into another world, either one of my own creation, or a book I’m reading, or a game that takes me to a ‘a galaxy far, far away’. But never for long. Too soon I get interrupted by the MaelStrom or MonSter.

I’m praying that a change of climate, from the dampness of Wales to the dry warmth of Idaho, will be the healing touch; along with the loving support of family.

Hopefully, by December and the holiday season normal service will be resumed.

The 10 Best Cities to Move to in 2015 – http://www.simplemovinglabor.com/blog/the-10-best-cities-to-move-to-in-2015#.VQXcaHY3dgs.facebook

The Fall

October 19, 2015 by Roland Clarke

Autumn Forest
(via whispering-n-winds)

Autumn is not here yet, and the leaves are hardly turning, so I had no reason to shout “Timber” as I hit the ground. Well, the floor of the bathroom – and my head and shoulders hit the shower.

Getting to the toilet is never easy, especially at night – or in this case at 7 a.m. in the morning, when it involves two wheelchair transfers. Multiple sclerosis drives me crazy. My body cramps up in bed, so I need to push, roll, and force my un-cooperative legs onto the floor. Then I have to push myself up off the bed and, using the bedside cupboard for extra support, swing into my wheelchair without falling. Stage One complete.

But then I need to reach the toilet before my bladder gives up on me – and it has a couple of times. And I need to do this without my legs going into a spasm, which makes it hard to turn the wheelchair through the bathroom door. The transfer onto the toilet relies on me getting the chair near enough to the grab bars on either side of the toilet. And then I have to swing myself across = Stage Two.

Multiple Sclerosis Fact #3 Spasticity

Except at 7 a.m. I failed to make it onto the toilet. I crashed to the ground lie a tree and screamed something. Fortunately, Juanita, my wife, woke up – as did the dogs – and tried to help the rigid body jammed between the shower and the radiator.

At least there were no canine surprises on the ground, and my bladder didn’t decide that this was the moment to use the floor.

However, we had major problems getting me up off the ground. Juanita tried helping, but at first she only strained her back and stomach. I only had the strength to struggle onto my knees with her help. But then getting up further proved impossible – until she manoeuvred a commode for me to climb onto.

Yes, a commode. Provided by the NHS back when it was impossible to get the wheelchair beside the bed. It had proved to have one major drawback though – it was a tight fit getting my personal bits inserted. Enough said. Move on.

Finally I moved onto the toilet, but by then my bladder had gone back to retaining everything, so couldn’t perform. Back to bed, but by then everyone was awake and sleep proved impossible.

Eventually, after an hour, I went to the toilet as needed. Then a few hours later, we rested our aching bodies. And yes I feel battered, but I’m glad that I didn’t break anything – hopefully not.

That was not the first fall, just the latest of many. My legs collapsed about a month ago and I needed the bed and Juanita to get back up. But I’m worrying about what will happen when I go down harder. Do we call the paramedics? There are no neighbours that could help.

And what happens when I’m taken to hospital. Juanita doesn’t have a UK driving licence, although we have one friend that might help there. That is one key reason why we are heading for the US where we have family – strong sons that can pick me up.

This Omar manufactured Park Home has serious design flaws, even though it was meant to have been built around my wheelchair. With toilets that had just one grab handle each? A shower with inaccessible taps? Basins that can’t be reached from a wheelchair? A cupboard blocking wheelchair access in the bedroom? We have had modifications made by another cowboy firm – modifications that needed more repair work. Don’t think we’ll be going the rebuild route next time.

So on the US front, we need to find somewhere that has the correct modifications, as well as great views, sociable neighbours, and a garden the dogs can dash around and around.

Except that brings us to the ongoing problem: when will my brother ever see the urgency of the situation? When it’s too late? My grand-mother died from complications caused by a fall. My mother had two severe falls before she died. How many does it take?

Will he continue with the blinkers?

Therefore, I may not be commenting on anyone’s blog today, but I have decided to post this today, as this has to be breaking news. Well, hopefully nothing is broken – and this is not going to make headlines or go viral. When did MS ever make the headlines? We are only pretending to be sick.

There are worse problems to report on – like the gossip about Kim Kardashian.

Now, have you heard about…

Will I clear the medical hurdle?

August 25, 2015 by Roland Clarke

The 10 Best Cities to Move to in 2015 – http://www.simplemovinglabor.com/blog/the-10-best-cities-to-move-to-in-2015#.VQXcaHY3dgs.facebook

Well the US emigration adventure is moving forward. On August 11^th, 36 days after applying, I got the approval letter from the US Embassy, which allows me to proceed to the next step of the visa process.

Then another eleven days later, on Saturday August 22^nd, I received the crucial LND number that allows me to fix a date for my medical examination – probably in late September. If that goes well, and I pass muster, then the final step will be the interview at the US Embassy in London.

This all presumes that we can fix the medical date for late September. The medical is only valid for six months, but most of those are winter months when it could be hard to move the animals to the US – they can’t fly if it is too cold or too hot. Without a house, moving is near impossible. And my brother holds the purse strings, so everything is on hold until he gives the go-ahead, which could be next year.

However, there is a more immediate concern. Ironically, my MS shouldn’t be the problem, except the stress on hyper-drive. I have all the relevant documents from my doctor and health experts – the local practise put all my records on a disc. These go back quite a few years, well before I was diagnosed in 2000. Although I will have to sign up for medical insurance in the US, having a disease like MS is not a ‘fail’ as such. And once I ensure that I am fully up-to-date with my vaccinations, then there shouldn’t be a problem – I hope.

So what’s the problem? Why the hurdle?

The examination is at Knightsbridge in London, a six and a half hour drive from Harlech for us. I no longer drive. Juanita doesn’t have a full UK licence so we can’t use the motorways. And like many people, she doesn’t want to drive in London. Even though I’ve lived there and driven extensively in the capital, I totally sympathise. It’s a stressful task. So we’ll be looking for some form of chauffeur… well a kind friend.

Incontinence is a problem already solved, and I’m prepared for the exhaustion, but then there is my car sickness, which had been banished for numerous decades, but that problem has now re-turned in all its childhood nastiness. (See “The Candle”.) Maybe my worsening MS might be at the root of the sickness. When we moved up here in February 2014, I had no severe sickness, even though it was an eight hour journey. However, when the Red Cross drove me to Bangor Hospital, I felt terrible. Maybe the same pills that I took for the 2014 move will work for the trek to London.

Let’s hope they do. Otherwise, I’ll be the wrong colour when I see the US doctor… and the US Embassy official a few weeks later.

Should these be called hurdles or fences? What else looms? Beyond the house purchase and sale, I see a huge water jump. That’s massive – and another post. Where do you think that jump lies?

(Source: ithoroughbred)

Why move to Idaho?

August 18, 2015 by Roland Clarke

Before I answer that crucial question, welcome to the first Pick’n’Mix blog post. I will attempt to post something at this same time and on this same site every week. And rather than having a specific topic, this will be whatever seems tastiest – as suggested.

Anyway, when I announced that I was attempting to emigrate across the pond to Idaho, some people questioned that choice?

“Why move there?” they asked. “There are better places for your MS – Switzerland or Spain.”

True. My multiple sclerosis gets worse in damp, cold weather, and in humid, hot weather. And sadly Wales has ticked the first box, this year. The second rules out many places in the more distant East, like India or Singapore. However, the key thing is having family and friends that can be supportive. A non-starter in this park home estate, where I seem to have a communicable disease, and when my family show no sign of caring what happens to me.

But I have another family that does care, and they are in Boise, Idaho. They may be step-kids and step-grandkids, but they are ready to be there for both of us. In fact, they have already showed they care, both in words and deeds. For instance, when my wife, Juanita, and I were with them in 2010 and 2011, they did everything for us from putting us up to carrying me when I couldn’t walk.

So that’s why we are moving back to Idaho, even if the move is complicated – especially by my brother. I need to get the right US visa and as well as copious documents, that includes a medical, which means an eight-hour drive to London. Then a few weeks later an interview at the US Embassy, again in London.

We need to buy a house, which is why we need my brother to guarantee the finance, which is mine for life. Then we have to sell our home in Wales. There is the shipping to arrange, and four pets to fly there, when the weather is right – they can’t fly when it is too hot or too cold. And I’m in a wheelchair so flying is a nightmare.

Before you ask about the culture shock, I should say that I escaped to Canada for three years and had Landed Immigrant status there. Yes, the US is not Canada, but it meant leaving home. And haven’t I already done that when I moved to Wales? This is not the country that I grew up in. The familiar haunts have been left behind. I’d already taken steps away from the equestrian world that I worked in, and I haven’t established similar contacts here.

So I’ve left home, and we are already in another country. Another country where the first language is not English, and we hear Welsh when we go places, even during the tourist season. Yes, the Americans do things different, whether it is driving on the wrong side of the road, or they arm their police. But it was the same in Canada, where I first passed my driving test, and almost joined the RCMP.

The 10 Best Cities to Move to in 2015 – No 2 Boise. Image courtesy Bob Young

Oh wait, American-English is not the first language spoken in Idaho. It was either Coeur D’Alene, Nez Perce, Kutenai, Northern Paiute, or Shoshoni, depending on the area. Around Boise it would have been Shoshoni. So I guess we need to learn that.

And those that said Spanish, go stand in the corner. The name Boise has French origins, French-Canadian fur traders travelled the territory in the late 18th and early 19th century. Boise may be from “La rivière boisée”. And any settlers from the Iberian Peninsula of significance were the Basques. Even a Brit knows that.

Well that’s enough of the history lesson from this Brit imposter. More of course next week. But that might be totally off the subject.

Any questions?

The Candle

August 10, 2015 by Roland Clarke

A sundae and candle at http://ri.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrB8qHVM8dVYxkA256WnIlQ;_ylu=X3oDMTBxNG1oMmE2BHNlYwNmcC1hdHRyaWIEc2xrA3J1cmwEaXQD/RV=2/RE=1439147094/RO=11/RU=http%3a%2f%2fcityhomekitchenstore.com%2fchocolate-ice-cream-sundae-scent-home-fragrance-candle/RK=0/RS=VGdOYtBON2viK00lZmzhumz9jow-

http://www.cityhomekitchenstore.com

There was a single twinkling candle on my chocolate fudge sundae. One candle for another year older, if not a year healthier. Friday August 7^th 2015 was a turning point – well it felt that way for my stomach.

It churned and squirmed along with my head as we drove through the lush green Welsh scenery, across the mountains between Harlech and Bodnant. I hadn’t felt so car sick since I was a child – not physically sick, just feeling rotten. Is this because I’m into my second childhood?

But the journey was worthwhile as the food was delicious at the Bodnant Welsh Food Centre, which is “set in the heart of the Conwy Valley and surrounded by the stunning scenery of Snowdonia”. Best part was browsing their farm shop, and being tempted to buy some tasty treats from chili chocolate to locally sourced beef sausages. What happened to the vegetarian? Disgraceful – or not?

I did get to glimpse odd bits of the scenery on the way home. I needed to, as the fictional setting for “Fates Maelstrom” is in this locality, about 10 miles south-west of Bodnant and on the edge of Snowdonia. Through the mists of car sickness, I caught sight of some crags like the one above Crag-o-Niwl, my fictional Welsh village.

There’s a crag in there somewhere! Craig Bwlch y Moch poking up out of a dense forest of rampant vegetation above Tremadog. Photo: Al Leary ~ http://www.groundupclimbing.com/newsitem.asp?nsid=185

So overall it was a good birthday, despite the childhood throwback, and a day that I won’t forget.

What next then? Well other than a birthday in Idaho on August 7^th 2016. That depends on the emigration process to the USA, which entails many hurdles.

That candle also threw a light on one aspect of my writing future: where this Blog goes from here.

At the moment, I manage to blog once a month, in the IWSG monthly post on the first Wednesday. However, I feel that the posts should be more regular, for instance once a week – possibly on Monday or Tuesday.

If I go to that new schedule, then I need a new theme, as my intermittent ramblings don’t come up to scratch or muster.

There are three possibilities:

Inspiring writers – a weekly blog about authors that have inspired me with their writing. The post would include my favourite books by those writers. I envisage choosing a crime/mystery writer one week, such as Dick Francis or Linwood Barclay. Then a SF/Fantasy writer the next. Like Charles de Lint or Roger Zelazny. I could intersperse these posts with interviews with published writers that I am online friends with. This is the simplest option, and more akin to the A to Z Challenge, but much more laid back.

Boise Skyline ~ Copyright: http://www.visitidaho.org/photos/

Moving to the USA – a weekly blog about the process that my wife and I are going through in trying to get to Idaho, USA. It could address the hurdles as well as the breakthroughs, and the prospects that await us. This would be more of a diary with a few suggestion for others undertaking the same expedition. I’m not sure that this would work as a weekly post, but with so many hurdles it could.

Living with Multiple Sclerosis – a weekly blog that is a chance for me to explain the condition, vent about the MonSter, and perhaps help others. Much more seat-of-the-pants than the other two, and also the disability gives me good days and bad days. Of course, I can’t help mentioning the MonSter in other posts, especially the American ones. Of course, my health is a key reason behind the move.